Couples Therapy Completion Gifts

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Relationship Warning Lights

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Two Rages Passing in the Night

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

Your Home Remodel Team

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

'It took years of therapy before I became the Bluebird of Happiness.'

'While it's often said that laughter's a better medicine, I've learned that crying is best in solving disputes between husbands and wives.'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

Express Therapy

"See how controlling he is?!"

Personal Relationship Counsellor

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

"You see?"

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'