Couple Humor Fans Pillows

Asleep on an airplane

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Tequila Mockingbird

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Guess who's teething?'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'Henry, cut that out.'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

Under New Mismanagement

"What?!"

Beer Lunch

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Sawrd Fighting

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

Pastoral Choirs

"I hate when this happens."

"It's not you, I just prefer big dogs."

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

Psycho-plankton.