County Critter Wrangler Gifts

'Ho boy! Ho! I went to veterinary school because I loved animals....'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

New Guy.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

So you're a mocking bird...

Distance to avoid contagion

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

Fish don't like worms.

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

Dissectum Paniculata

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

'Let's go, Denmore. The free-range chickens are stampeding towards the canyon.'

'Fresh eggs!'

Fish Feeding Frenzy

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Menage a Paws.

Rancher builds fence around angry bull.

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

"Fred's a man for all seasons. The lawn still needs mowing but he's set for leaf blowing."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

"Can we forget about our dainty little tracks in the snow for five seconds and try to concentrate on what we're out here for?"

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

Woman in hospital: Pick up a leaflet, Pick up a bug.

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

Menace.

Christo's greatest challenge.

'Hey buddy, it's supposed to be stand-UP comedy.'

"Raising free-range chickens is the easy part. The hard part is the drive to Abilene."

"Get out of that chair! Frank and Bernice will be here in an hour and I really don't want to spend half of that time cleaning cat hair off the furniture."

'No, she can not come out to play again.'