Country Shows Gifts

'Wow, that's one prize-winning pig!'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

Bashful in Nashville

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

'I'll never forget the night I saw you across the crowded room of a dusty ol' honky tonk.'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

Scot country dancing,

Supply was out of harps.

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

Where the deer and the antelope play.

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

Music from the moon.

Cowpunk

Ray Price, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."