Country Funster Gifts

She giveth and she taketh away!

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

Cheeze Wiz.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'Superstock'

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

Moo! OOM!

Police Cow!

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

Oh yeah! It does echo when you moo very loudly!

I want to be a lawn!

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'