Country Collector T-Shirts

"They'd be further behind other countries in Geography if they could name more countries."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

Mummy?!

Doulton Canada Geese

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

'Not another copycat accident?!?! That bloody nursery rhyme's got a lot to answer for.'

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's lost all meaning in the steroid era."

"I wonder what this was for."