Country Collector Pillows

"They'd be further behind other countries in Geography if they could name more countries."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Do you buy cars here?"

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

Milking the Cow.

'It seats two comfortably.'

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

Mummy?!

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

Doulton Canada Geese

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

Acme Flyswatters.

'Not another copycat accident?!?! That bloody nursery rhyme's got a lot to answer for.'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'