Counting Competition Fan Pillows

'And we can count to eight. That's more than you can say for them.'

The Sculptor

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

'I win!'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

'Rhea of the Year.'

'This is our top negotiator's office.'

Hospital gown pageant.

It had taken a team of engineers at IBM over a decade and had cost more than 50 million dollars, but that nigh, when Eat-Bot 4000 finally broke the record for hot dogs in an hour, it was all worth it.

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.

"Wow, fishing sure is fun. I can't believe I caught such a big fish my first time out."

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."

"Foul!"

'Jack's foursome gives out trophies at the end of the year...he came in fourth!'

You are no longer in jeopardy.

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

Scott finds Amundsen got to Pole first and cries

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

'Before I throw can you tell me if my feet are behind the line?'

The Apprentice

"We demand more money! We're not carol singers! We're future X Factor contestants!"

'The thing I liked best about being an amateur is that the other guy was an amateur too!'

Mind Your Valuable Grey Matter

Cat show success.

"The old man wants to see you in his office now."

'You don't really care about sex. You just want the prizes for the first baby of the New Year.'

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

"1 cookie, 2 donuts, 3 cupcakes, 4..."

'It never fails... The race gets into the final stretch and the two leaders go negative.'

Rudy, you wanna know possible names for your generation? Huh? The L-Generation for loser, the C-generation for clueless or connected, J for jerk or W for whiners. These readers suggestions all have something in common. None of them won the contest to name Rudy's generation. Not that we're taunting the non-winners. C'mon, taunt the losers!! Winner to be named any day now.

Winner of Horse jumping competition hit by loser