Counselor's Toolkit Enthusiast Pillows

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

D.I.Y with dad.

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'Therapy in L.A.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"You must learn to let go."

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

Handy-lion

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

Counselling Cash.

Good shrink, bad shrink.

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

"After 20 years of marriage, don't you think it's time you stopped calling your husband 'that Harold person'?"

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

'No, we're owned by a non profit poundation.'