Couch Navigator Gifts

Cable Hell.

There was nothing Colin liked to do more than to settle down with a snack and watch slimming advertisements on the television...

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'Are we there yet?'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

"I am not asking for directions."

A Preschool of Fish

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

Battery Lighthouse

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Titanic: How's my steering.

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

Set sail

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"You are here"

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"Your Majesty, my voyage will not only forge a new route to the spices of the East but also create over three thousand new jobs."

Rowing machine on a river.

"According to the charts, it should be clear sailing after this."

"You have arrived at your destination."

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby