Couch Traveler Gifts

"He has a new travel mug and no place to go."

"I try to avoid conflict. For instance I've never visited Afghanistan."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Off to see the world

Vaccination Passport

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

Busking during a pandemic

'Anything to declare?'

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

NEXT EXIT Food & Drink Cafe...Open 24 hours: 'Hey! Here's the place we saw advertised on the freeway!'

'Please Miss, why does 'Earl's Court' have an apostrophe but 'barons Court' doesn't?'

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

'Why would you need GPS? Have you suddenly forgotten how to get from the couch to the refrigerator?'

'Father maybe gone some time.'

Bev puts on an old favorite