Couch Traveler Gifts

"He has a new travel mug and no place to go."

"I try to avoid conflict. For instance I've never visited Afghanistan."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Off to see the world

Vaccination Passport

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

'I don't trust him - he's got beady eyes.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

Busking during a pandemic

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'Anything to declare?'

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

'Please Miss, why does 'Earl's Court' have an apostrophe but 'barons Court' doesn't?'

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

Bev puts on an old favorite

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

'Father maybe gone some time.'