Couch Conqueror Gifts

'Now that the dog's finally house trained, I can start working on Dave.'

"I like it – I'm just not sure it's what I want to rot on."

You finished Netflix

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

'Sure, they're cute now when they're babies, but look - now he's taken over my couch.'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

TV-Man

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"Goal!"

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Binge Watch

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"I love fast break business success."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'Don't look at me!'

'I don't trust him - he's got beady eyes.'

Yoga To-Do

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'