Couch Conqueror T-Shirts

'Now that the dog's finally house trained, I can start working on Dave.'

"I like it – I'm just not sure it's what I want to rot on."

You finished Netflix

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

'Sure, they're cute now when they're babies, but look - now he's taken over my couch.'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

TV-Man

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"I love fast break business success."

"Goal!"

Binge Watch

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Yoga To-Do

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"I see a couch."

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."