Couch Crusader Gifts

When the cats realized that Hubert had permanently taken over their favourite couch, they took action.

Modern Accomplisments

Sure, it's just to find the royal remote, but a quest is a quest, Ernie!

'Herb is into low impact television.'

2 out of 3 people who buy running shoes don't run in them.

Dog: If he hadn't wanted me to chew up the couch...

'Oh, he couldn't be sleepwalking - he's far too lazy for THAT.'

"Dang! I spilled my drink! Um...but don't worry. I spilled it on the same spot where I spilled it yesterday!"

"I'm afraid my husband's just a very lazy old Trot."

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

TV-Man

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Two Players both holding the same cue.

'I don't trust him - he's got beady eyes.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

It's a Dog's life

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

'You went to obedience school and you're still not allowed on the couch? What a gyp.'

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

"Quit moving"