Couch Crasher Gifts

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

Low-Energy Drinks

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

Eventual Motion Machine

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

Hank had been asleep for hours, but amazingly his clicker finger kept going.

Bed and Breakfast and Couch and Coffee