Couch Crasher Pillows

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

Low-Energy Drinks

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

'Don't look at me!'

'I don't trust him - he's got beady eyes.'

Hell No Kitty

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

Eventual Motion Machine

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

'World Cup? Nobody told me there was a football match on!'

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

World Cup reactions

Bed and Breakfast and Couch and Coffee