Couch Companions Gifts

'I really enjoyed that, but if anyone ask, don't you dare tell them we watched it.'

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

Right click for yes...

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

(I'm afraid someone is going to expose me as a phony, a fraud, … A complete charlatan.) (Uh, oh! He's on to me!)

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

"Love me?"

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

Eventual Motion Machine

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

A triathlon for the lazy and unfit.

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

'I'm afraid to ask.'

Dog in the Bed.

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

Sale. We need something that will meet our growing backsides.

Spiro & Pusho watching TV whilst on a hike.

"It doesn't matter. They give us the same food no matter where we are."

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

American Idle

I'm beginning to think that my wit and Erudition is wasted on you

"They went together, doctor!"

'The teddy bear and blankie are the only sleep aids the doctor had that aren't addictive.'