Quirky Couch Companions Gifts

'I think Dr Fussmertz caught your paranoia. He's hiding under his couch.'

"He was a sea rescue."

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

'I like to wear women's collars.'

The Common Sutra.

Taking goldfish for a walk.

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

'Here, you're allowed to sharpen your claws to your heart's content!'

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

Love is Love

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

"It doesn't matter. They give us the same food no matter where we are."

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

Itchy Butt 50

"Step on it, Roger!"

"No-one nit picks like you..."

Will assuage guilt for money.

"What they hell are we looking at."

A Skinny Dog

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'If three-fourths of the world is covered with water, what am I doing in this stupid bowl?'

Graves: Ernest Moss Ventriloquists. . . 'Georgie'

Some people who watch reality shows take notes.

'I know you're a deadly sin and everything, but I don't know...I still like hanging around with you anyway.'

Ask Sadie. I'm anxious to have a companion. When will this happen? -Ron from Chicago. *Actual reader questions. Ron, what a coincidence. I am also looking for a companion. Do you give foot rubs, clean the house, do what you're told and keep your frisky hands to yourself?! Your search is over, sweetie bear. Ask Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com

'I really enjoyed that, but if anyone ask, don't you dare tell them we watched it.'

"Why on earth do all these cats feel the need to post 15 pictures a day of their humans?"

White Cat Dancing