Quirky Couch Companions Pillows

'I think Dr Fussmertz caught your paranoia. He's hiding under his couch.'

"He was a sea rescue."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

'I like to wear women's collars.'

Taking goldfish for a walk.

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

'Here, you're allowed to sharpen your claws to your heart's content!'

Love is Love

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"It doesn't matter. They give us the same food no matter where we are."

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

"No-one nit picks like you..."

Will assuage guilt for money.

Itchy Butt 50

"Step on it, Roger!"

"What they hell are we looking at."

A Skinny Dog

Graves: Ernest Moss Ventriloquists. . . 'Georgie'

Some people who watch reality shows take notes.

'If three-fourths of the world is covered with water, what am I doing in this stupid bowl?'

'I know you're a deadly sin and everything, but I don't know...I still like hanging around with you anyway.'

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'I really enjoyed that, but if anyone ask, don't you dare tell them we watched it.'

Retro Beehive kitty.

"Why on earth do all these cats feel the need to post 15 pictures a day of their humans?"

White Cat Dancing