Quirky Companions Gifts

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"I love you, you big fool."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"He was a sea rescue."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

Penguin Remote

Giraffe Selfie

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"This does not make us friends."

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'I like to wear women's collars.'

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

If it's any consolation, you burned the bejeezus out of his finger.

Love is Love

'Here, you're allowed to sharpen your claws to your heart's content!'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"My Lord, you said you'd walk with me, but I only see one set of footprints."

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

'Stop worrying, he said he's bring his new friend he's met recently.'

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

For the last time, Barb, I'm not ignoring you., I'm just eating.

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."