Couch Comedy Appreciators Gifts

Kids watching TV - 'They watch television all the time now that junk food adverts have been banned'.

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

The Pink Bantha

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Shakespeare Quote

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

Couch and Potato

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

Disease-y Top

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"God, I love this show!"