Couch Comedy Appreciators T-Shirts

Kids watching TV - 'They watch television all the time now that junk food adverts have been banned'.

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Shakespeare Quote

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

Couch and Potato

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

Disease-y Top

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'