Couch Comedians T-Shirts

Russian boycott 'Nyetflix'

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

Frank has intimacy issues.

'His six-pack abs are now a keg.'

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

"I am a control freak."

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

'Here, you're allowed to sharpen your claws to your heart's content!'

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

"This is for all the things you have already heard about via social media."

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"Is there room for me?"

Mud Slinging

If you're going to wear a GoPro, Larry, you have to actually go.

"No incumbents were harmed in the passage of this stimulus package...."

WARNING - This Programme Contains No Strong Language.....

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

"Why can't you just bat the ball of yarn around like other cats?"