Cosy Conundrum Fan T-Shirts

'Know what? I don't feel drafts anymore.'

Bright idea

"Drunk, yet orderly"

'I found another pothole.'

Squirrel and bird feeder.

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

"You get one every time you order something online."

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

'I don't think the killer would in the garden...that'd be waaaay too obvious.'

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

"Mr. Stilz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

"Okay, if I can't use my last wish to wish for another three wishes, can I wish that I find another magic lamp?"

'I'll get this rock; you get the other.'

Scuba Skater

"Matey! Me cell connection's down. Throw me a landline!"

If you could be any vegetarian, which one would you be and why?

You short-changed me when I paid for my drink last week. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. You gave me change for $10, but I now I gave you more than a ten-dollar bill. Sorry about that. How much did you give me? I distinctly remember I had nothing but $1,000 bills in my wallet. Not falling for it.

'We need someone in here, like now.'

That side up.

'Well, I've managed to get rid of the annoying double vision effect on your T.V.'

'...he's teaching me air guitar.'

Information. If you can't put toothpaste back in the tube, how did it get there in the first place?

Effective communications

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

"Our privacy policy has changed. Press 'I Agree,' because what are you really going to do about it?"

"Nothing is wrong with the machine. Press the buttons harder. You need to work on your people skills."

Problem Solving at the Urinal

We need to wrap our heads around this.

"Why don't we need to fix the microwave, and have you seen my curling iron?"

"What do you do when you run something by legal and legal takes the fifth?"

B.R. tries to solve the Network S.E. problem

"Great work! Now the problem seems highly complex in a way that we, and only we, can solve."

'Well you said you were hot, so should I turn the fan on or not?'