Cosumer Behavior Gifts

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Santa Claus's Mail

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

But is it organic?

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Dog Park / Cat Park

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"I hate it when we fight."

"Welcome aboard. We will endeavor to treat you with dignity and respect. Now get you and your stupid face out of my office."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

The Map of the Human Heart

Lovers' leap with chaperone observation point.

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

One giant bark for dogkind.

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'