Cosumer Behavior T-Shirts

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Santa Claus's Mail

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

But is it organic?

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Dog Park / Cat Park

"I hate it when we fight."

"I shop, therefore I am."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

The Map of the Human Heart

Lovers' leap with chaperone observation point.

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

One giant bark for dogkind.

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

"Now that we know what the consumers want, it's our job to make them think that we have it."