Consumer Behavior Enthusiast Gifts

"Yes, I drank this Poland Spring water I bought here...but I still have no idea 'what it means to be from Maine.'"

"The Doctor here is an expert at hot-wiring the consumer brain."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

But is it organic?

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Sign Reform

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Early man learns that by walking upright, his hands become free to do many useful things.

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

"I see a psychiatrist holding a Rorschach test."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

"Now that we know what the consumers want, it's our job to make them think that we have it."

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

For the new gardener.

'Don't say I didn't warn you. The rising tide of consumer indifference is finally catching up with us.'

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

"Slow down, I want to take a peek in Barneys!"

The competition's customer vs our customer.