Cost-conscious Dieters Gifts

'It cost too much to have my stomach stapled so I had it paper clipped.'

Sale.

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

Crisis Buzz.

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

Sam's Nation Building

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

'No, no, no. I think it's great that you exercise and diet. I just wonder if perhaps you exercise and diet too much.'

Avocado Prices

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

January Sales

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

Tattoos! $50 and Tattoos Removed! $10,000.

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

Pharmacy. These days a miracle drug is one that I can afford.

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

Purified Water. Look at these prices! Distilled waters run steep!

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.