Cost-conscious Dieters Pillows

'It cost too much to have my stomach stapled so I had it paper clipped.'

Sale.

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Crisis Buzz.

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

Affordable housing

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Low income vampires.

Sam's Nation Building

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

January Sales

'No, no, no. I think it's great that you exercise and diet. I just wonder if perhaps you exercise and diet too much.'

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

Avocado Prices

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."