Cosmic Voyager Gifts

"Man! That's the closest I've been to Earth in 60,000 years and that's about as close as I ever want to get."

"I'm hoping we might get a crater named after us."

"You are soon to encounter an odd flying object in the sky... or maybe a strong wind."

I think I have the right stuff to be on the first manned mission to Mars! You sure? You'd be in a confined space for several months. Your direct human contact would be limited to a small group of people. And there'd be a constant threat to your well-being hanging over you. Good points. Over the last year I've had more then enough of those things for one lifetime right here on earth.

"How many times have I told you? Never open the jar with the black hole in it!"

"I see a long journey ahead."

'I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that...'

"Sorry boys, we have to turn back! I left the space station lights on."

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

"Whatever it is, we're up to our necks in it!"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

Mars Rover - 'They are right, men are from mars.'

'Hey, you! -- What happened to the pet dinosaurs we left here?'

An Alien on the Moon waiting for his Alien dog to finish Peeing.

An alien dog hangs its head out the flying saucer.

"Oh well, at least it's not Earth."

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

"A trillion bottles of beer on the wall, a trillion bottles of beer..."

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

You're gonna have to put that thing in "UFO mode."

'Do you have 4G up here?'

'Of course I'm paranoid and delusional, dummy! -- I was abducted by aliens, for crying out loud!'

"They're very time-sensitive."

"Oh yoo hoo, NASA, guess who found another rock! NASA? Baby, you there?"

Life in the fastest lane.