Cosmic Venture Capitalist T-Shirts

Big Bang For Your Buck Investments...Specializing in space technology.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Profit

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'Based on your travels, what would you say is the greatest potential downside, if any, to investing in the Upper Amazon?'

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

"Money is life's report card."

S.S.dot.com

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

"Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue disappeared."

Astronaut grilling on the moon and watching his sausage fly.

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

"Let's all sing our theme song: 'I Love Venture Capital'."

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

"Harris, I want you to buy up anything that has 'dot com' in their title."

"We want a management buy out - if you'll lend us the money."

"I've been working on this project non-stop, twenty four-six!"

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"Moreover, profits double if we move in with our parents."

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."