Venture Capitalist Enthusiast T-Shirts

Angel investor.

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Profit

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

'Based on your travels, what would you say is the greatest potential downside, if any, to investing in the Upper Amazon?'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

Decision Making Block

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

Bio, Inc. Should we continue to invest in this promising new cloning technique? Yeah, let's double down on it.

Big Bang For Your Buck Investments...Specializing in space technology.

"Money is life's report card."

S.S.dot.com

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

"Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue disappeared."

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

Businessman feeding the vultures

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

"Let's all sing our theme song: 'I Love Venture Capital'."

"Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher. Lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses."

'Wow, my own desk!'

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

"All that's left is inventing something insanely popular!"

"Harris, I want you to buy up anything that has 'dot com' in their title."