Cosmic Venture Capitalist Pillows

Big Bang For Your Buck Investments...Specializing in space technology.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Profit

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'Based on your travels, what would you say is the greatest potential downside, if any, to investing in the Upper Amazon?'

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

S.S.dot.com

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

Bio, Inc. Should we continue to invest in this promising new cloning technique? Yeah, let's double down on it.

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

"Money is life's report card."

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

"Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue disappeared."

Astronaut grilling on the moon and watching his sausage fly.

Businessman feeding the vultures

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

"Let's all sing our theme song: 'I Love Venture Capital'."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

"Harris, I want you to buy up anything that has 'dot com' in their title."

"We want a management buy out - if you'll lend us the money."

"I've been working on this project non-stop, twenty four-six!"

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"Moreover, profits double if we move in with our parents."

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.