Cosmic Pun Fan Gifts

God not too happy with the Humans.

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Laughing Zone Ahead

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

Cupid misses his shot.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

"You need a mint."

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

"Kevin's sort of a negative person, while I tend to be positive, so we have an electrical connection."

Arm Chair

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

Ernie, what's a seven-letter phrase for "sadistic behavior"? Beats me.

World Cup Universe.

Unsound

"Do you know what time they open love?"

"I think we walked into the wrong bar."

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

Pluto

'I'm NOT sweating -- those are OCEANS!'

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

"And you say these stabbing back pains started when you got into politics?"

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

"Okay - I can see you now."

'I don't think much of the punchline.'