Cosmic Pun Fan Gifts

God not too happy with the Humans.

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Laughing Zone Ahead

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

Cupid misses his shot.

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

"You need a mint."

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"Kevin's sort of a negative person, while I tend to be positive, so we have an electrical connection."

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

Arm Chair

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Unsound

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

"I think we walked into the wrong bar."

'I'm NOT sweating -- those are OCEANS!'

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"And you say these stabbing back pains started when you got into politics?"

"Do you know what time they open love?"

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

"Okay - I can see you now."

'Ooh, look! A shooting star. Make a wish.'

'I don't think much of the punchline.'