Cosmic Pun Lover Gifts

Space: A Venn Diagram

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

The Physiciatrist...

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"Here comes the super-visor."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

It's a pretty serious chemical imbalance, Mr. Sims

First Contact

"I don't know - the minute I figured out how to make it self-aware it realized it was naked, ran, and hid from me."

"Surprisingly, the soil samples provide new evidence for the 'giant ball of cheese' hypothesis."

"With the whole world in NATO, we won't have to take any more crap from Mars."

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

"Thank you earthlings, without your space junk we would be nothing."

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

"Pi and mash squared please."

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

The Principal of Inertia.

"Be realistic, how can lumps of rock zooming around in space affect our lives down here?"

"What am I, chopped liver?"

'Could I have a loan a cup of sugar please?'

Space Shuttle.

"You know that's not what I meant by 'give me a hand'!"

"Remember, there's an additional charge if you don't refill the tank before you return it."

Museum. The Universe. "Light-years"? Boy, they have low-calorie everything these days!

It's a group of goldfish, so it might be an element-ary school!

"...but that equals 243 Earth days!"

'I'm NOT sweating -- those are OCEANS!'

'Don't look at me - I didn't have anything to do with Tunguska!'

"So our ant-cestors come from Ant-artica?"

Actually, I think you looked better with Atlantis.

He says he needs space.

'This won't hurt a bit...'