Cosmic Consultants Gifts

'There's no agenda! Does anyone know what's going to happen?'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Clown God

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Science fiction fans on other planets