Cosmetics Guru Gifts

Ladies night at the bowling alley.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

The adoration of the gels.

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

Dragon Hair-dryer.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

A women in a shoeshop.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Rapunzel in the Morning

"Be creative...!"

Dating is so expensive...

Keeping warm.

Emergency Hipster Beard

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Absolutely not!"

"Too much concealer?"

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'