Cosmetics Guru Gifts

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

The adoration of the gels.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

Dragon Hair-dryer.

'She's so put together!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

A women in a shoeshop.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Rapunzel in the Morning

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Keeping warm.

"Absolutely not!"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Too much concealer?"

"Be creative...!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Dating is so expensive...

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."