Corporate Retreats Gifts

'There's talk of innovation out here. Winds of change are headed your way. Lock your door, pull the shades and hide under your desk.'

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to far, go together." - African proverb.

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"I'm in my third day of trying to figure out which little square I am."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I apologize for sending out the meeting memo late. Let me summarize by saying that the entire board is being replaced starting tomorrow.'

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

'Did you make any decisions at the conference in Hawaii?' - 'Yes, we decided to have the next conference in Hawaii.'

Motivational Business Course: Charm, Repetition, Acronyms, Pie Charts.

"Let's get the important stuff out of the way while I'm still paying attention."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Does anyone know where the leadership training is taking place."

"Humiliating our employees is not generating enough revenue. It's time for a new policy."

"You like working for me, don't you, Ed?"

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'There's been another management shake-up. The former global sales manager is now head of Europe, and the old head of engineering is now head of purchasing.'

"If we are to save the firm from collapse then we need leadership...perhaps we should start by convening a group to have a little think about the colour of the files we'll be using?"

'Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission.'

"This is our Head of Transformation and change, Doctor Jekyll."

"I need to take a call. Argue amongst yourselves."

"Cosgrove is a summer guy, Hayward is a spring guy, and I'm a winter guy."

"Now, do any of you other yes-men have a 'yes, but' you'd like to get off your chest?"

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'