Corporate Relaxation Gifts

Big desks take time.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

Group Think Time

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"Fine - you don't want to run in the corporate 5K - I get it. What about the corporate cage fighting team?"

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to far, go together." - African proverb.

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'