Corporate Relaxer Gifts

'How's the executive training program, going?'

"Ahhh... close enough."

American Idle.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

Big desks take time.

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I like what I do but I love what I don't do.'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

I'm practicing for retirement - one hour every day.

Lazy dog.

I am ready for my wine.

"Sure, I had a retirement plan. Stop going to work"

"I said I've travelled all over the world. I never said I got out of the box."

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"

"I am ready for my wine."

His entire life was about balance.

'My husband has retired from the bench.'

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

"Have you ever thought about dropping a few pounds, dear?"

'Retirement became more tolerable when I installed this water cooler.'

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'