Business Retreat Gifts

Teamwork

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Group Think Time

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'