Annual Company Retreat Gifts

"Every year, it's the same darned thing! I take a two-week vacation, and while I'm gone, the company just falls apart!"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

Group Think Time

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"Fine - you don't want to run in the corporate 5K - I get it. What about the corporate cage fighting team?"

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!