Corporate Psychiatrist Gifts

"You're doing a great job as a corporate psychiatrist, but would you please keep your hands off the workaholics."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

Genius

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'And one and two and let change through and three and four and collapse on the floor.'

'They say money can't buy happiness. Find out what can.'

'You said you wanted more responsibility, so I'm making you responsible for everything that goes wrong.'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

"This is what I took away from the meeting."

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

"I don't think we can put off dealing with 'presenteeism' any longer."

Corp H.Q. In the corporate world, do you it's what you know or who you know? Neither, it's what you know about who.

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

"No, no - I'm just looking for a balance of power that corrupts in moderation."

"In preparation for his appearance before the foundation board, Rodney fine-tunes his song and dance."

A Nursery Rhyme From The American Psychiatric Society

"And this is another economic indicator."

'Consensus on a Friday afternoon...what a lovely way to begin the weekend!'

'If i had my life to live over again... I'd make the same mistakes sooner'

Career Progression Ladder

Ethics (with an eye on the bottom line) committee.

'I must be getting old. I remember when I could smell fear clear across the other side of the building.'

'I'm not asking for a raise Mr. Betenheeler, but would it be possible for you to treat me as a human being?'