Corporate Parodist Gifts

"It's a swearbox."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Boss's Desk Says No!

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Do me next."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Night of the Zombonies.

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

Born In Captivity.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

Another day at work would be one too many...

The Family Joules: Part 16

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Being offshored isn't exactly what I expected.'

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'