Corporate Parodist T-Shirts

"It's a swearbox."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Boss's Desk Says No!

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Do me next."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'Being offshored isn't exactly what I expected.'

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Another day at work would be one too many...

Born In Captivity.

Night of the Zombonies.

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."