Corporate Lifers Gifts

'I, too, used to fret away the days, pondering the meaning of life...then I got my first bonus.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

Storm in the out tray

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."