Corporate Lifers Gifts

'I, too, used to fret away the days, pondering the meaning of life...then I got my first bonus.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

Storm in the out tray

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"