Corporate Do-gooder Pillows

'Ask me about my corporate matching program'

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

"No, I'm following you"

"We're counting on you to save this company, Fitzgerald.

"Seems like all of Nancy’s nonprofit work is going to her head."

"I'm in the market for a good sidekick."

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

"It's just that your acts of kindness are so random."

No Caption. (A boy scout helps an elderly woman on a treadmill.)

'Her pro bono impulses are raging out of control.'

"I used to lose my secretaries because they were getting married - now they leave to start their own companies."

"Yes, we're a charity tackling skyrocketing income inequality, but we're also a charity that should be saying 'I love my billionaire finder.'"

"You don't frighten me, T.J."

The sword or the briefcase in the stone

"See, son? Daddy's company makes inhalers to help people with asthma."

'Samaritans, mission control'

"You do pro bono work, I work for a non-profit, we both do volunteer work... that's why we need food stamps."

"I'm a do-gooder, Maggie. It's not easy."

"I think what I love most about you are your causes."

"Do your owners treat you well? Mine are very kind."

STRIP *Community Care * Skilled volunteer

Please help.

Goody 3 Shoes

"You're work might be free, but based on the quality, it's not pro bono."

"I think you got the wrong end of the stick...When we voted to use the money to help the Third World by buying livestock or providing clean water....we meant to send a cheque!"

"Before we start: Phones on mute. Go-bags under your chairs."

Previous occupants polluted the groundwater, then moved to another state for a cleaner environment.

'It's good that you enjoy volunteerism. This job pays just about nothing.'

'We don't help ladies across the street anymore. Can't afford the liability insurance.'

Charities knocking on doors.

"Don't pay any attention. Simmons is always yelling 'Wolf' about something."