Corporate Giver Pillows

'Her pro bono impulses are raging out of control.'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

celebrating a birth.

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Birthday Racing Car

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

A feminist Christmas.

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

Santa's Out Tray.

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

"Anderson, we'd like to talk to you about your stand-offish attitude.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'