Corporate Conscience Explorer Gifts

"They're the socially conscious fund fairy and the margin call devil."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

Above reproach.

I think therefore I am.

"Ed Pierce is here to see you sir, and remember, it's unprofessional to roll your eyes."

Sportswasher's

Environmental Conscience

"You're just buying time, Peterson! I want those figures on my desk by tomorrow!"

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'Welcome to Change Management 101. We'll start with some free falls.'

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"The secret of our success? Hard work, cutting edge research and bookkeeping issues!"

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

'And my board approved this?'

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

"Remember to look miserable when you meet the workforce son. We've spent years convincing them that money can't buy happiness."

"Let's demonstrate our corporate values of diversity and inclusion and listen to some of Brian's stupid ideas."

'We don't need an R & D department anymore; we've got something better - Steve Jobs' garbage pail.'

Bothers my conscience a little bit/May keep me up for a night or two/Am I really stooping this low?

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'