Corporate Cliché Collectors Gifts

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

You complete me!

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'He's a good listener, but only to the sound of his own voice.'

The Devil's in the detail!

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

"You're hired!"

'And it's here, where we feel the bulk of our liquid assets are going.'

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

The breakup

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

When Downsizing has Gone Too Far...

'This committee will have two functions - to execute my plans and to accept responsibility if they fail.'

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

"Very good Carter, but when you said you wanted to show us your Powerpoint we assumed you meant presentation!"

You're right, Jenkins. The numbers don't lie. Get me some that do.

"I really enjoyed my job. Management found about it and fired me."

'If a job's worth doing, it's worth off-shooting.'

"I am calling a meeting...I am calling it a waste of time."

Leopards do change their spots

'Lookout, here comes another boatload of cartoonists.'

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

"There are far too many balls in your court, Brintner!"

'And no doubt you'll be pleased to hear, the pay's crap.'

The hero dramatically rides off into the sunset.

'We need to panic until common sense returns.'

'Reserved' (presumably for little miss muffet)

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."